The tumultuous journey of separating fact from fiction can really push a fella or gal to the edge. So much letting go. So much darkness surfacing to meet light for the first time. So much surrendering to terrifying unknowns.
When we have a handle on what we believe, life feels stable and manageable. We know how to react to others. We have a paint-by-numbers lifestyle that keeps us on track. We protect ourselves from drowning in the waters of existentialism.
Identity seems like a friend while swimming in the chaos of life. It allows us to cope with the nothingness that comes in waves, bringing with it depression, hopelessness, apathy. To avoid all that, it gives us rules to follow and behaviors to emulate.
Why then, would anyone turn their back on such a friend? Is it some kinda new age masochism? Uh, I’m sure in some (creative) circles it is.. but the main reason people choose to relinquish their identity is to be liberated, to achieve the freedom to feel and express from the deepest part of self.
The inner you is making a dance partner out of the chaotic universe as we speak. The you that’s reading this is taking a break, and most likely daydreaming of being a separate entity with the will to refuse the dance. This life is the experience of that daydream. A detour from oneness to understand existence as a seemingly self-contained fragment.
This is where free-will comes into play. Have you ever wondered how you or someone else can achieve success and yet feel the same, or even worse, than you/they felt before achieving that success? I think about it all the time. What’s the game here if our circumstances don’t make us whole?
It’s a game of perception. The experiences we have in this concrete realm are only mirages to train our vision to see the immutable. You can prioritize safety and comfort all you like, plan your every move and achieve anything you set your mind to. How long will it take before you realize that you aren’t satisfied by your mind’s emanations?
The mind without the balance of the heart is a dry, academic type. Science and culture offers all the answers you need, your mind tells you, emulate, mimic, control yourself! On the other hand, the heart is a freewheelin’ maniac with a penchant for joy and a kryptonic potential for sorrow.
Together, they are the real you, an even-keeled, spontaneous, lovely, present being that maintains balance by aligning with the is-ness of reality. Divine surprise is offered in spades if you can get the mind and heart working together. Not that cheap, “oh how exciting that my job promoted me,” version of surprise. I’m talking about those “holy moly” moments when the universe offers you experiences you never saw coming.
The mind in isolation cares too much about preparation and the predictability of life. It might seem like that’s a good thing when the money is rolling in and stressful scenerios are contained, but what does life become with that approach? It becomes dull, and misery tends to creep in.
The top one percent richest in the world played the mirage game very well. They can buy whatever they want, go wherever they want. Are they the most interesting, joyous, open-minded, loving people? The truth is, they made it to the summit of materialism and now they dream about how they can artificially make the summit taller, rather than re-imagining the mountain.
IT’S A MATTER OF COURSE THAT WE HAVE THE EXPERIENCES WE DO
The fact that there are a bajillion experiential avenues to become aware of truth, means that circumstances do not dictate the course of our being. Sure we can choose what the picture of our lives looks like, but using the mind alone, we sacrifice a collaborative relationship with reality.
Free-will is the ability to put on or take off our cosmetics and to “swipe-left” or “swipe-right” on our circumstances. It’s a funny term, free-will, because it implies that our will to make change in and out of our lives, is an act of true freedom. But then how come we often spend a lifetime using it and end up feeling more trapped and isolated?
Energetically, emotionally, spiritually, we stagnate when we worship the material world as the one, true reality, and our hearts suffer for it. If we put a pause to our worshipping and let life move around us, without trying to control it, we realize that every single experience we have is either poking at our desperately made structures and beliefs, or embracing and strengthening our love for self and others.
With enough surrendering to experience, we awaken to the most unusual fact. Everything happening to us is here for us. The good and bad of it is just the mind’s story, hoping that we will regain the belief that life must be held into submission to maximize our pleasure and mitigate our pain.
With the awareness that all we experience is here for us, coupled with our inherent desire for connection and love, we begin to learn the lessons stitched into our life. We no longer need those pesky patterns to wallop us over the head again and again and again, to learn something new. We become one-and-doners. We inch our way towards the dance floor, rather than bunkering down in the nose-bleed section, remaining a victimized, daydreaming spectator.
OF COURSE THAT HAPPENED TO YOU!
You had a boss that was a real tyrant. They slandered your name behind your back. They rallied your friends against you. They made your job insufferable. You learned how to love yourself in spite of them. Then you began loving yourself for the simple pleasure of it.
Of course that happened to you!
You wrote a book. It sold a million copies. People praised you and adored you for your creative contribution to society. You were able to support yourself for a little while longer. You eased back into comfort, and then writer’s block plagued you until you gave up on writing. That is until you had a near-death experience that transformed your perception of life, and now there is no end to your writing.
Of course that happened to you!
You loved someone so much you decided to marry them. You brought a couple of children into the world. You achieved your dreams in life with some time to spare. You feel fulfilled, and yet there’s a sneaking feeling of dissatisfaction in your life. You contemplate, meditate, locate that feeling and follow its breadcrumbs.
Of course that happened to you!
What I’m getting at with this, is that energetically, life is a matter of course. Physically, it’s a mirage that helps us rekindle our relationship with the energetic current, the subtle, but infinitely more profound and real version of reality.
We do not have the free-will to make decisions in that ultimate space because everything has already been decided. We forget this because the illusion of free-will is a constant temptation. Our mind makes us believe that it is better to play-act as a god rather than exist in harmony with the unchanging current of existence.
OUR TRUE POWER OF PERCEPTION IS UNTAPPED
Think of the millions and millions of lives that came and went, and the ones currently living. We’ve all been driving on the same highway since the beginning of civilization. The highway itself is, always has been.
You’re driving along as a child at a gentle cruising speed. It feels good. Life is fun and exciting. Then you get to a certain age and you notice something funny. Every mile there’s a man-made rest stop. The signs on the highway are loud with information, all kinds of effective marketing tactics to get you to take a break. Come on over, they read, ice-cold water and strong flushing toilets. Another sign says there’s a circus of machines doing trapeze. And another offers a funhouse of pleasure and a serum to take away your pain.
You think, ah, driving on this highway is all that I know. I’m going to check out one of these rest stops, see what all the fuss is about. Some people stay at the same one for a lifetime. Others turn their adventure into a tour of rest stops. And very few see through the game enough to choose the original path down the highway. As they gain ground, there are less and less rest stops, but the marketing is even sneakier. The majority of the remaining few take a load off at one of them and then their life ends the same as the rest.
The teeniest group of people keep chuggin’ along. Nothing can stop them. They want to experience the is-ness of the untouched highway just beyond the horizon. When they reach it, the road disappears. The concepts of highways and rest stops, disappear. They, as the driving car, disappears.
What’s left is pure awareness, pure presence, the fully integrated knowing of oneness. It is from that place that we as human beings achieve our true power of perception and we miraculously take on two bodies, our mirage self and the all self.
From the perception of the all self we can re-dream or reform the mirage. We can turn the highway into a river to play in, with no materials to build signs, no motivations to stop others on their journey of perception. We incorporate the surface of the water and its depths to perceive our flow. Life from then on is given the gift of clear, inseparable, loving unity.
It’s not a pipe-dream. Our souls will eventually reach that place. Either in this life or the next or the next or the next, and so on.
In the same way that we work now to help our future self. We must take the lessons of this life seriously and contemplate meaning if we are to please our future self sooner rather than later. The energy is fixed in flow, but the illusion is not.
Play-act in the mirage and find the grains of love in your experiences so that you can perceive the majesty of perfection offered by the real. And remember, every experience is here for you. Meet it halfway with your mind and heart, feel the inherent freedom of the all, and perceive reality as it is.
Loved this line -- "The inner you is making a dance partner out of the chaotic universe as we speak."
See you on the untouched highway, brother!